Armagideon Time

Archive for the ‘Consumerism’ category

An 1982 article about John Carpenter’s reaction to The Thing‘s disappointing box office results has been making the social media rounds, with all the “what fools those ancients were” commentary one has come to expect on these occasions. The gist of it is true. The movie — along with fellow Class of ’82 alums Tron […]

Past as prologue

June 5th, 2019

I really wanted to write a detailed analysis about how the Cool World soundtrack manifested from a space-time fold which curved above and below the temporal brane of the Grunge Era, past and future coexisting as pits on photonically agitated polycarbonate… …but I can’t stop wincing about the separate listings for the Thompson Twins and […]

Eff your vescence

May 30th, 2019

It’s always bizarre to me when financial analysts act gobsmacked when a faddish commodity experiences a sharp correction. Regardless of one’s opinion about flavored seltzer water, it was pretty clear that its white hot trendiness would eventually experience some form of reversion to the mean. For every one of these darlings which does manage to […]

Most of the singles in my collection are either non-album tracks or one-off favorites where it was easier (and cheaper) to opt for the seven-inch over a full LP. There’s no point in springing for, say, The Best of The American Breed when I know deep down that my turntable’s stylus will only traverse the […]

Pulp nonfiction

May 2nd, 2019

I have read a lot of dystopian fiction in my forty-seven years. Some of it has been good, a lot of it has been terrible, but none of it has been as utterly disturbing as the copy from this International Paper Company ad… But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was […]

Reel, too real

April 23rd, 2019

Some folks will tell you that the Apollo 11 mission was 1969′s biggest scientific achievement. They are wrong. Transporting a pair of human to the surface of another world is pretty impressive, I’ll admit… …but it pales in comparison to the advent of a portable cassette player with a protective enclosure for its media. Portable […]

Of disbelief

April 8th, 2019

If nostalgia isn’t an outright lie, it’s a selective interpretation of the truth. It’s easy to long for the past after the unpleasant bits have faded (or been willfully suppressed) from memory. Remove that tarnish and any period can seem like a Golden Age, which is a nonsense because I actually lived through such a […]

Strut the flap

April 4th, 2019

Come one, come all! Feast your eyes on the Only Bumflap That Matters! As the ad — ganked from a 1980 issue of Smash Hits — states, this was merely one of an entire line of hindquarters drapery available for sale. If you were curious about which other artists were available for posterior display, here’s […]

Drive, mon pied

April 2nd, 2019

It took three deep dives into the 1975 Sears Wish Book before I noticed it… …but when I finally did, it nearly shorted out my nostalgia cortex. I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you that those goofy race car slippers were one of Young Andrew’s most coveted possessions. Forget Tonka trucks […]

Highest ed

March 29th, 2019

The campus playset was part of a whole line of college-themed accessories for Barbie, and given ample page space in the 1964 Sears Wish Book. I wish Mattel had pursued the concept through the entirely of Barbie’s college experience — Summer of Love Barbie, Berkeley Speed Freak Ken, Bad Acid Trip Barbie with Plush Sanatorium […]

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