Armagideon Time

Archive for the ‘Consumerism’ category

Image is everything

April 13th, 2018

It’s the spring of 1995, and I am nearing the end of an agonizingly long Green Line trip to Brookline. I’m doing it to meet a friend, one I had been estranged from for a couple of years but have recently reconnected with. In the time since we went our separate ways, he had moved […]

The second edition of Warhammer 40,000 dropped in the autumn of 1993. Unfortunately for me, Games Workshop’s pre-release hype-storm had attained its desired effect and made finding a copy of it nigh impossible for a few weeks following the game’s release. I did eventually come across one at Pandemonium Books in Harvard Square (back when […]

The little oddity that could

April 10th, 2018

Gift cards are the low-hanging fruit of holiday shopping, offering an easy out when one’s time and inspiration reserves have been depleted. “Here’s $25 for TGI Fridays!” “Thanks, here’s $25 for Target!” And thus the lateral transference of bespoke wealth carries on, sustained by a sense of obligation and the notion that gifting cash is […]

Dead alive in 1995

April 6th, 2018

I remember next to nothing about MTV’s Club Dead, apart from the lingering feelings of horror and disdain the whole “full motion video” CD-ROM game fad of the early-to-mid-Nineties instilled in me. Ballyhooed as the “Next Big Thing,” the FMV game thing was really just a massive cop-out that took advantage of the CD-ROM format’s […]

Twi5t of Ca1n

April 3rd, 2018

Oh, sure, you claim to be a fan of Danfourg, but can you name any other songs he did besides “Mothreer?” I bet you didn’t even realize he was the frontman for horrorpunk legends The Misfivets, who recorded such classics as “Astro Zerombies” and “Last Careights.” They played their first shows at C8G8′s in NYC, […]

It calls for thee

March 30th, 2018

Remember me as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you must be. Prepare for death and follow me. Hindsight is 20/20, but I’ll always have room for a rich helping of historical irony.

Let’s go places

March 29th, 2018

And on the listing these words appear: ’94 Toyota Paseo, for parts or scrap; Two-hundred-and-fifty, cash only, no refunds!’ Nothing beside remains. In the trunk Of that compact wreck, mildewed and dented A pair of racoons loudly copulate.

Stale madeleines

March 27th, 2018

Ready Player One is a set of flash cards elevated into profitability by an audience eager to be pandered to in the most facile manner imaginable. It’s nostalgia at its namedropping laziest. It epitomizes everything I despise about retro-gazing culture, yet there’s a part of me that wonders if that isn’t a little hypocritical on […]

And I never did

March 15th, 2018

The first Toys R Us I ever visited was the one at the North Shore Mall. The mall also housed the only barbershop my grandfather trusted to cut his hair. On the third Saturday of the month, he’d load himself, my grandmother, Lil Bro and me into his oversized tan Chevy and make the long […]

The last starfighter

March 6th, 2018

For the better part of two decades, my retro holy grail was a complete SSP Smash Up Derby car with its gyro-revving “t-stick.” They were a beloved artifact of my early childhood, when I’d send the battle-worn VW Beetle screaming across the linoleum so it could explode in a shower of spring-loaded plastic pieces when […]

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