Armagideon Time

Archive for the ‘Consumerism’ category

Goes great with anything

September 29th, 2017

TV Version: Perennial wallflower Sarah Jones was having a tough time getting used to life in wild and woolly Akron, but a chance encounter with an old crone has turned her life upside-down! Now, whenever shy Sarah puts on the strange headband the crone gave her, she becomes magically transformed into the vivacious and outgoing […]

Staring in the early Nineties — on the heels of the “Superstar Artist” boom — department store began offering bundles of funnybooks in their holiday catalogs. The stuff was never foregrounded among the most kid-coveted items of the year, but relegated to the back pages jumble of coin and stamp collector kits and magic sets. […]

A consensual hallucination

September 21st, 2017

“Cliches became cliches for a reason; that they usually hold at least a modicum of truth, and the following cliche is truer than most: You can’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been.” During the second week of my vacation last month, I got drawn into a discussion among friends about […]

Kitsch-in

August 31st, 2017

The “internet of things” bullshit is hardly a new phenomenon, but the current incarnation of something that dates back to the dawn of the industrial revolution. Mass production requires mass consumption, yet the mechanics of economies of scale mean that supply will eventually outstrip consumer demand. There are only so many stoves, toasters, or automobiles […]

Ho ho oh no

August 24th, 2017

Discovered while researching the slot car post a couple of weeks back: A 1988 holiday insert buried in the middle of an issue of Boys Life. Who could’ve guessed “You’ll never outgrow us” was a sinister generational curse? For some reason, my sense of history gets unstuck in a few places where video games are […]

The two months following my mother’s death felt longer than the sixteen years before it and the twenty-nine years since. The psychic wound was so raw, the trauma so unprecedented, that even the the most minute details permanently imprinted themselves into my memory. I spent the night of her death at a paternal aunt’s house, […]

Unsteady Layer Dumb

July 25th, 2017

(being an excerpt from my forthcoming bestselling novel and big budget movie adaptation) When it came to my research, I didn’t take any shortcuts. Over the past five years, I’d worked my way down the entire recommended reading list. Danielle Steel, V.C. Andrews, John Jakes, Robert Ludlum, Herman Wouk, James Clavell. Michner. Krantz. Forsyth. L’Amour. […]

Sometime around my fortieth birthday, my interest in plastic crap took a steep dive. I’d like to say that a growing (if long delayed) sense of adult responsibility was the cause. The truth is I had a sad realization that these overpriced artifacts of arrested development would spend a couple of years cluttering up a […]

By the tale

July 6th, 2017

“As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.” – Donald Rumsfeld Pretty Boy took some shrapnel to the face from a booby trap in the Happy Valley. He married his high school sweetheart in the chapel of […]

Faced with the dilemma of having a free block of writing time and no particular topic I felt like writing about, I opened Armagideon Time’s request line for suggestions. There were a lot of great suggestions, some of which will (hopefully) be the seeds for future posts. In the end, I selected pal Ben’s request […]

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