Armagideon Time

Archive for the ‘Consumerism’ category

Unsteady Layer Dumb

July 25th, 2017

(being an excerpt from my forthcoming bestselling novel and big budget movie adaptation) When it came to my research, I didn’t take any shortcuts. Over the past five years, I’d worked my way down the entire recommended reading list. Danielle Steel, V.C. Andrews, John Jakes, Robert Ludlum, Herman Wouk, James Clavell. Michner. Krantz. Forsyth. L’Amour. […]

Sometime around my fortieth birthday, my interest in plastic crap took a steep dive. I’d like to say that a growing (if long delayed) sense of adult responsibility was the cause. The truth is I had a sad realization that these overpriced artifacts of arrested development would spend a couple of years cluttering up a […]

By the tale

July 6th, 2017

“As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.” – Donald Rumsfeld Pretty Boy took some shrapnel to the face from a booby trap in the Happy Valley. He married his high school sweetheart in the chapel of […]

Faced with the dilemma of having a free block of writing time and no particular topic I felt like writing about, I opened Armagideon Time’s request line for suggestions. There were a lot of great suggestions, some of which will (hopefully) be the seeds for future posts. In the end, I selected pal Ben’s request […]

Can the can

June 14th, 2017

In times of crisis, I have found it helpful to look back to an simpler equally chaotic and confusing time in search of answers bizarre shit to marvel at through fragmentary memory and a thick nostalgic haze. Sure, things may look pretty grim on a global scale in 2017, but they still haven’t sunk to […]

Sold for sixty-six

June 7th, 2017

I had a few hours to spare yesterday. While I considered writing up something on the fly to celebrate that rare occurrence, my pre-post research led me down a rabbit hole which burned away an entire afternoon. The time-wasters in question were scanned copies of the 1966 Sears and J.C. Penny holiday catalogs. My original […]

Bust and boom

June 2nd, 2017

Part of the adoption process in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts involves filling out a lengthy questionnaire covering the applicant’s history and personal life in minute detail. It might sound a bit intrusive, but it’s nothing I haven’t already tackled on multiple occasions and from multiple angles over Armagideon Time’s eleven year lifespan. The only real […]

The great achievements of western capitalism have rebounded primarily to the benefit of the ordinary person. These achievements have made available to the masses conveniences and amenities that were previously the exclusive prerogative of the rich and powerful. ― Milton Friedman

In the last installment of this feature, I talked about the giddy accumulation of stuff which comes when one dives head-first into a new hobby. This week, I’m going to discuss a regrettable adjunct to that strain of over-exuberant consumption — the signal-to-noise ratio which causes the occasional jewel to get lost amidst the torrent […]

No more for your life

May 9th, 2017

In 1995′s The Brady Bunch Movie, Mike decides to reward the family for a valuable lesson learned by taking them to Sears. On one level, it’s a facile gag by way of product placement. The uber-square department store was exactly the sort of place the perma-retro Brady clan would shop. For folks of a certain […]

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