Armagideon Time

Archive for the ‘Big Issues’ category

About two months back, a drunken idiot plowed his pick-up truck into a group of motorcyclists in New Hampshire, killing seven of them. It soon came out that the driver of the truck shouldn’t have been behind the wheel — neither drunk nor sober — because he’d been picked up on Connecticut on a DUI […]

Past as prologue

June 5th, 2019

I really wanted to write a detailed analysis about how the Cool World soundtrack manifested from a space-time fold which curved above and below the temporal brane of the Grunge Era, past and future coexisting as pits on photonically agitated polycarbonate… …but I can’t stop wincing about the separate listings for the Thompson Twins and […]

Pulp nonfiction

May 2nd, 2019

I have read a lot of dystopian fiction in my forty-seven years. Some of it has been good, a lot of it has been terrible, but none of it has been as utterly disturbing as the copy from this International Paper Company ad… But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was […]

‘Tis the season

November 27th, 2018

Christmas is less than a month away, which means the slew of hot takes about That One Problematic Holiday Standard should start arriving at any moment. In previous years, I’ve striven to keep above this circular debate, but the sheer number of wrong-headed reads of the subject matter had compelled my to weigh in on […]

Because I am old and jaded and the old bag of tricks doesn’t cut it for me anymore, I have to find my horrific thrills from fresher venues — like running a search for “Halloween” on the Bradford Exchange’s online portal. Let’s face it, no existential terror Lovecraft ever dreamed up could possibly compete with […]

..and now it’s an epidemic of national proportions. (from “The Loathsome Loner” by Carl Wessler and Ricardo Villamonte in The Witching Hour #65, August-September 1976) Recommended listening:

Groovy times

August 9th, 2018

NEWLY DECLASSIFIED FROM THE SECRET VPL DATABASE: THE POLYESTER FOUR PART PLAN OF 1975: 1. Trap the smell of sweat, body odor, and other environmental scents in the fabric to an eye-watering degree. 2. Cause your clothes dryer to burst into flames. 3. Realize how awful you actually look. 4. Donate the stuff to a […]

Sic transit gloria Nineties

July 31st, 2018

Looking back, you wonder if any of it was real. Of course it was. You can find ample physical evidence in any thrift store or the few sad remnants you’d elected to hold on to all this time. There’s a part of you that whispers how these were your best years — a halcyon daze […]

We live in a contentious political climate, one in which important debates are framed by ideological rigidity and personal attacks. There are some who lament this current state of affairs and seek common ground through compromise. It is a noble enough sentiment, but suffers from a great deal of delusional thinking and moral equivocation. You […]

Stale madeleines

March 27th, 2018

Ready Player One is a set of flash cards elevated into profitability by an audience eager to be pandered to in the most facile manner imaginable. It’s nostalgia at its namedropping laziest. It epitomizes everything I despise about retro-gazing culture, yet there’s a part of me that wonders if that isn’t a little hypocritical on […]

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