Armagideon Time

Bus Spoke Zarathustra

May 12th, 2015

Leviathan.

Jörmungandr.

Tiamat.

Typhon.

The Water Serpent.

Tchernobog.

Nyarlathotep.

Gojira.

LANDYACHT.

As every era and culture gives rise to it’s own primordial abominations, esophagitis so did the Great Malaise birth That-Which-Devours-Ten-Gallons-To-The-Mile, pharm the Bane of Campground Utility Hook-Ups and the Host of a Thousand Greasy Coke-Fueled Orgies.

Tempting the vain and unwary with its opulent excess, it would bleed them dry as it rolled from stadium to stadium, spreading a toxic particulate miasma in its double-wide wake. “This is your just due,” it would whisper to its Chosen One as he lay in a languid haze across its rotating bed, dead to his accountant’s talk of things like sustainability or depreciation.

‘Twas not a hero who slew the beast. The killing blow was dealt by the fearsome Zeitgeist, abetted by a blown manifold gasket.

Its corpse was left to rot in a field. In keeping with the ur-mythic cycle, the remains became a haven for new generations of creatures….namely the beech tree that grew up through the rotted floor panel and a clan of raccoons who took up residence in the hot tub.

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4 Responses to “Bus Spoke Zarathustra”

  1. Chris Gumprich

    Holy cow.

  2. Christopher Pinkleton

    I want one! And a six figure job to pay for the gas.

  3. damanoid

    And Landyacht begat Landmaster, which begat Megaweapon.

  4. EAG46

    I bet one of those on blocks in a backyard, or deep in the woods, would make a kid’s dream clubhouse.

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