Wanna hear something really scary?
I had a mysterious black box in my bedroom known as a desktop computer. It contained some ancient and arcane technology dating all the way back to 2011.
I used to use to commune with people around the globe, resurrect long-dead videogames, and write macabre treatises on such horrible things as Elvis collectables and third wave ska.
After I acquired a laptop, however, I surrendered my sovereignty of this strange device to my wife. It served her purposes well for a while, but eventually began to exhibit unfortunate behaviors.
At first I thought it might have been due to some virulent contagion, but entropic decay turned out to be the more likely culprit.
Well, that and slow suffocation by a pack of fiendish and furry creatures.
The device’s failures brought forth a stream of baleful curses from my wife, most in the form in four letter words.
Some of these were aimed in my direction, as the replacement machine I purchased sat unopened in the dining room for half a year while I engaged in more pressing pursuits.
These past few weeks, it was becoming more and more apparent that the device was on the verge of giving up the ghost. Even worse, the USB 3.0 functionality had died, which meant transferring a few hundred gigs of essential files took untold aeons to accomplish.
Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing today instead of composing a proper countdown post.
Recommended listening: Alien Sex Fiend – Ain’t Got Time to Bleed (from Curse, 1990)
But I’ll always have time for you, my electro-gothic darling.