Armagideon Time

By the tale

July 6th, 2017

“As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.” – Donald Rumsfeld

Pretty Boy took some shrapnel to the face from a booby trap in the Happy Valley. He married his high school sweetheart in the chapel of the hospital where he underwent his series of reconstructive surgeries. They divorced two years later. He hasn’t spoken to his son since 1997.

Bugle Ben found work as a session musician after the war. His uncredited horn work can be heard on scores of Seventies smooth jams and funk tracks. His solo album was well reviewed but sold dismally. He passed away from throat cancer in 1993.

Most folks thought Big Ears got his nickname because he was a radioman. His squad-mates knew the truth, as they’d watched him string the grisly new additions onto his “special” necklace. One of the fellas said he’s been permanently locked up in a VA psych ward. Another said he was shot to death during a botched liquor store robbery.

Machine Gun Mike doesn’t want to talk about it, although lately he’s been spending a lot time sifting through the locked box of old photos he keeps in the back of his sock drawer. His wife has learned to take the grandkids to the park during these episodes.

Representative Horatio “Tiger Tex” Hood is serving his tenth term in the Texas House of Representatives, where he chairs the Homeland Security & Public Safety committee.

The Rock’s big moment of fame came after the war, when he was photographed tossing his medals on the Capitol steps in 1971. After retiring from a two decade career as a licensed social worker, he now lives in a cabin with his husband and their three dogs outside of Taos.

Combat Kid got a job in his family’s machine shop, married a friend of his cousin, raised three kids, and became the president of the local Rotary Chapter. No one knew about his heroin addiction until his teenage daughter found him dead from an overdose in the basement rec room.

Sarge stuck it out for another ten years, then joined the Idaho State Police after leaving the service. He died from a heart attack on the porch of his survivalist community bungalow in 2006.

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  1. Nobody’s Favorites: A tale of two Kings
  2. Tale of the tape
  3. Tale as old as time

One Response to “By the tale”

  1. Arik

    You sir-madam. Have shown us how to tell a proper modern day G.I. Joe story.
    By telling the stories of the characters. Instead of having them fight against every space alien
    From the IDW comic book universe.

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