Armagideon Time

Maura and I used to do an in-house “date night” thing on Thursdays during the late Aughts. We’d pick up Chinese takeout from the Fen Yang House on the way home from work, take care of our critter-related obligations, then settle down in the living room for rich helping of MSG and NBC’s prime time sitcoms.

On one particular night in late September, I leashed up Addy the Big Red Dog for her evening stroll. We barely made it down the back steps before we encountered a slightly perturbed skunk rifling through our rubbish barrel. It initially seemed liked we’d avoid any unpleasant confrontation, but no sooner did I utter “everyone be cool, okay” than Addy let loose one of her ear-splitting half-beagle bellows, prompting the panicked member of genus Mephitis to deliver a blast from his or her (I wasn’t in a position to ask) stink glands.

The Big Red Dog only received a glancing blow from the pungent cloud, but it was enough to impregnate her pelt with an eyewatering reek. By the time I was done trying to hose Addy down to non-vomitous levels of stink, I was left with the last fifteen minutes of Scrubs and an ice cold plate of fried rice and spareribs.

The incident did yield me enough material to whip up a fresh blog post. Armagideon Time was still in its mp3 blogging period, when I’d annotate some goofy off-the-cuff topic with a couple of thematically appropriate music selections. Sometimes I started with the music and molded the post around it. On other occasions, a suitable subject would arise and I’d search around for songs that supported the concept.

This post fell into the latter category, and inspired a quick keyword search for “skunk” in my digital archives. One of the tracks it turned up was “Funky Skunk” by Pete Thomas…

…a new-to-me dance instrumental buried in the folder where I stored albums I’d picked up somewhere but hadn’t gotten around to listening to yet. It came from an import comp titled Let’s Boogaloo, Vol. 3 that was probably pulled from one of dodgy pop-up blogs that used to dump chunked oddities and obscurities en masse during those lawless times.

The horn-heavy goodness of “Funky Skunk” intrigued me enough to give the rest of the compilation as listen, and was instantly rewarded by MOTHERFUCKING “BEATCOMA” –

– a previously unreleased epic stomper by library music maestro Alan Moorehouse and the only piece of music I would ever require from that moment onward.

“Beatcoma.” Goddamn.

There were other truly amazing tracks in that collection of vintage obscurities and retro-leaning recent efforts as well, including Fred Hughes’ Northern-Soul-Meets-70s-Anime-Theme “Don’t Let This Happen To Us” —

– and Minivip’s Italo organ jam “Miss Augusta” —

– which made for a satisfying listening experience from beginning to end, but nothing could rival MOTHERFUCKING “BEATCOMA.”

I did attempt to track down other entries in the series, all of which were quality stuff but unfortunately lacked the levels of MOTHERFUCKING “BEATCOMA” I’d become accustomed to. After knocking all the lower hanging fruit off my “essential records” wantlist, I performed a deeper dive into the Discogs marketplace to see what recent, non-reissue releases were available on vinyl. As a DJ-aimed import dance compilation, Let’s Boogaloo, Vol. 3 seemed like a safe bet and sure enough had been released on LP in Italy back in 2006. The only sellers were in located in Greece and the asking prices were a little on the high side, but love of MOTHERFUCKING “BEATCOMA” overrode all other concerns…

…except those of the U.S. Customs and Border Protection Agents, who were understandably worried about releasing such pure floor-shaking power on these benighted shores.

Related posts:

  1. Back to Wax #11: Harmonious invasion
  2. Back to Wax #5: Returning the gift
  3. Back to Wax #17: The post that celebrates itself

2 Responses to “Back to Wax #27: The funk is going on here”

  1. Jeff

    Fond memories of “dodgy pop-up blogs that used to dump chunked oddities and obscurities en masse during those lawless times.” Seems like eons ago. Love it!

  2. Bill the Splut

    You might want to check out the old Sound Gallery series of 70s British music. TV themes and advertising songs, and although it may not fuck any mothers, you may want to shout about Pepsi with a girl in a sportscar.
    https://www.discogs.com/Various-The-Sound-Gallery/release/608134

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