Mon 14 Dec 2009
Nobody’s Favorites: Failing upward
Posted by bitterandrew under Comics, Culture, Nobody's Favorites
[17] Comments
I was forced to spend the better part of my day at the dentist’s office, where I was informed that she “didn’t even know where to begin” in regard to my current state of dental health. As I was too preoccupied with the usual feelings of crushing dread to work up a proper post for today, I’ve decided to briefly spotlight a handful of characters who would qualify as Nobody’s Favorites if not for their perplexing numbers of bona fide (and often quite vociferous) fans.
In short, they’re the superheroic equivalents to Dane Cook and Two and a Half Men.
RED TORNADO- While Marvel’s Vision radiated an aura of Spockean sang froid, DC’s resident android superhero presented a decidedly more emo take on artificial intelligence. If it wasn’t bad enough that he spent the bulk of his tenure with the JLA either fucking up or whining about fucking up, his origin — involving alternate earths and alien elemental spirits — was a convoluted mess and his hopelessly busy costume epitomized the worst aspects of Bronze Age visual design.
GAMBIT – Because that’s what the Marvel Universe was missing: A Cajun caricature of Lorenzo Lamas.
AQUAMAN- DC’s King of the Seas is proof that longevity and visibility can be a curse. He’s one of those characters who doesn’t have fans so much as he has folks who are fans of claiming to be fans — a situation that has lead to a series of unsuccessful reboots that have only further isolated Aquaman from whatever core strengths he might have possessed. Instead being shoehorned (and thus subject to silly plot accommodations made for his specific skillset — “Thank goodness there are elephanto-sharks on this strange alien world!”) into the mainstream DC Universe, Aquaman would (as Pal Mike has pointed out) be better served in a self-contained, kid friendly venue where the simple, goofy charm of the concept could be allowed to shine through.
CABLE – Also known as Nathan Summers, also known as “when the wheels irrevocably fell off the X-franchise.” Yes, I know it is possible to tell a good story featuring Cable…in the same way it is possible to build a mansion from of bricks of reprocessed cat feces. The real question is “Why would anyone want to?”
SPOILER – Not since Enron has so much been invested in something of such dubious value.
Related posts:
- Nobody’s Favorites: Zero for hire
- Nobody’s Favorites: Beyond the law
- Nobody’s Favorites: Crisis management
December 14th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Definitely agree on Red Tornado and Gambit. Toss in the Sentry when written by anyone other than Jeff Parker and Paul Tobin and you’ve got my trifecta of comic book hate right there.
I like Aquaman, though I admit I’m probably more what you say, a fan of being a fan, though I do enjoy those 60s stories drawn by Ramona Fradon an awful lot. The Filmation cartoon, too.
December 14th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Well, I’m absolutely with you on everyone with the exception of Aquaman, whom I actually rather like. Yeah, he can be a bit goofy, and I hated the whole long hair and harpoon thing, but I do adore him in all of his green and orange glory.
December 14th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
I don’t know that I ever considered myself a fan of Red Tornado, but I had enough affection for him back in the days of the classic JLA. It probably helped that I didn’t know about The Vision.
Aquaman confuses me. I think it’s perfectly reasonable that he’s a core character of the DCU–longevity and legacy both count for a lot in my book–yet I can’t say that I’ve ever followed *any* of his many, many monthly titles.
For me, Aquaman is kinda like The Atom. When you need someone with his skill set, no one else will do. Even if you decided Aquaman wasn’t good enough to be in the League, you’d want him on speed-dial.
On the other hand, the Aquaman who appears in the animated “Brave and the Bold” *is* a favorite. The one where he and the Atom enter Batman’s bloodstream is hilarious.
December 14th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I’m no fan of Cable but he did breathe some life into the X-franchises esp. New Mutants when he was introduced.
December 14th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Aquaman is something of a special case, as DC has been unwilling or unable to accept that the aspects they wish to downplay are the ones that make the character appealing to most fans.
The Fradon stories got it right, as did the BATB cartoon.
December 15th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I really think everyone is more or less on the same page about Aquaman. Like Captain Marvel, his role in the DCU needs to be downplayed and his stories be aimed more at kids.
I’m not a huge superhero reader, but from what I’ve seen the tragedy of DC right now is that they’re mired in “grim ‘n’ gritty” storytelling when they have a wealth of characters that they could be great at hooking little kids. This “Earth One” OGN format they’re pimping would have been a logical way of doing so, but apparently they can’t think outside the manchild box.
December 15th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I don’t know why you’re surprised. Admittedly, I haven’t been keeping up with a lot of current continuity and am probably off a bit, but I think the reasoning goes something like this:
Red Tornado: Emo robots are totally popular in Japanese manga. Who doesn’t love an AI woobie? (Well, boys, I suppose.)
Gambit: What did X-Men really have before Gambit arrived for the heterosexual girls? A short hairy Canadian, an uptight leader, a beast, and that nice boy from the USSR. (Yes, I’m probably forgetting a few dozen characters here.) Sure, they all had their appeal, but throw in a suave cajun devoted to a love he can
neversometimes, depending on the event, touch and is it any surprise he’s popular?Aquaman: Okay, I got nothing on Aquaman.
Cable: The way I see it, Cable appeals to two primary bases. Guys who like their men as ruggedly full of muscles and guns as possible with a great excuse for doing whatever crazy crap he’s doing (he’s from the future and knows that ___ will turn evil! sort of!), and girls who get a huge kick out of him playing straightman and potential love interest to Deadpool.
Spoiler: Everyone loves Tim Drake, and Spoiler seemed like she’d be an interesting character, not to mention a strong female hero. But then everything started getting horribly grim and she became a symbol of more than one probem in comics today, so she probably comes across as somewhat more popular than she actually is.
December 15th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Aquaman is a total nostalgia thing. I had the MEGO figure as a kid and adored the Filmation cartoon regardless of quality. I hop on every reboot they do of him but usually bail out before it’s over. The Palmiotti/Conner Aquaman who showed up for a few weeks in “Wednesday Comics” was brilliantly done (c’mon, he had a clam-phone) and I like to pretend they stuck him in there as an audition to do their own Aquaman book.
It is possible, though, that Aquaman might really is best in limited doses.
December 15th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Oh yeah, totally forgot about the “Wednesday Comics” Aquaman. I’d buy that book too.
December 15th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
geez, I like Red Tornado way more then Dane Cook…
December 15th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I’ve gotten into arguments with people about why Aquaman isn’t lame.
December 16th, 2009 at 12:04 am
Good calls all of them. Aquaman fans continue to amaze me, they loudly cry out how much they love the character while saying every story he’s been in for 20 years was crap.
Cable I will confess to being fond of, mostly because he came around the point where I was saying to myself ‘why don’t these superheroes just carry guns?’ I mean if you’re going to be taking on armies of villains, most of whom have guns, why not throw on some armor and grab a gun too.
Well then we had early Image and learned why not… But Cable still warms my heart.
December 16th, 2009 at 12:09 am
I can’t really disagree, but I’d add Deadpool too. Forget the whole ‘poor man’s Grant-Morrison’ breaking of the fourth wall, he’s just a totally uninteresting, obnoxious supporting player from the Liefeld era who, for some reason, people can’t get enough of.
December 16th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Red Tornado: God, yes
Gambit: Seemed to be really popular with folks who’s main X-knowledge came from the cartoon.
Aquaman: Yup.
Cable: And yet, a lot of the best Marvel comics of the last 15 years have starred or co-starred Cable– Casey’s Cable run with Ladronn; Cable/Soldier X by Kordey, Tischman, and Macan; Cable/Deadpool by Nicieza. Cable’s benefited from being a peripheral title, and thus creators have been able to expirment a bit and done of the best post-Authority superhero comics with the character.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:29 am
Red Tornado is perfectly acceptable as a supporting character, as long as writers stop using him as cannon fodder to show how tough their new villains are.
Gambit– alright in small doses, but like Cable was overhyped back in the nineties.
Aquaman: but there really hasn’t been any good stories about him in the last twenty years, but in the right hands he can be interesting (I picked up the old Steven Skeates/Nick Cardy/Jim Aparo series in cheap Dutch reprints. Those were quite good.) Just let him have a writer not embarassed by his powers.
Cable — Liefeld’s best character, overextended in the nineties, drawn into the Summers incest party, killed all the interest.
Spoiler: again, a good supporting character, worked well as a foil for Robin.
All of these are not bad characters the way some of the other entries have been, unredeemable, just badly used characters for the most part.
December 16th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Cable benefitted greatly from having one of the best ten year runs of writers.
After Loeb, there was Casey, Robinson, Weinberg, Tischmann, Nicieza near his best, and now Swierczynski doing surprisingly good work, with Mike Carey having a run on X-Men with him on the side. I think the only thing than rivals that run of writers is Flash during the Waid/Morrison/Waid/Johns period.
December 31st, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Aquaman actually is my favorite. Buy tons of Aquaman stuff and books. I like Spoiler a lot, too, had a real crush on her as a kid. But still, very funny stuff!