Armagideon Time

Another year older

March 13th, 2011

When I was three, order
I got swept out to sea.*
When I was sixteen,
I learned the world can be mean.
When I was twenty-one,
I was hoping for some fun.
When I was twenty-five,
I got hep to all that jive.
When I was thirty-two,
I thought I’d begin anew.
But now I am thirty-nine,
I’m as bitter as bitter.
I doubt things will improve
And ain’t that quite a shitter.

Recommended listening: The Jam – I Got by in Time (from In the City, 1977)

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*No, really. I was fucking around on the beach at Plum Island and got caught by the undertow. To this day I cannot stand having my face submerged.

Related posts:

  1. Older, but never wiser
  2. Everything old is older again
  3. Been that kind of year

6 Responses to “Another year older”

  1. Professor Matthew

    Damn man, I’d say happy birthday but that seems like the opposite of what you want….

    I’m someone who thinks the apocalypse has started and I’ve got a better worldview than this.

  2. bitterandrew

    I prefer to think of it as setting a very low bar, thus making everything seem brighter in comparison.

    Y’know, instead of seeing the glass as half-empty, seeing it as “at least someone isn’t stabbing me in the face with its jagged, broken remains.”

    And thanks!

  3. Mike Zeidler

    Happy Birthday!

    I totally understand the “not wanting my face submerged” feeling. I drowned in a neighbor’s pool when I was 5 (paramedics and everything) and since then, I freak out whenever I’m under water. Even snorkeling, in scuba gear, and at times even while showering. Made the compulsory swimming section in gym kind-of rough too.

  4. mondo

    Have a rockin’ rollin’ one matey – and have this as a birthday bonus. Would have sent you Wolfmen rarity, but I’ve bust my Divshare bandwidth…

  5. sallyp

    Awww…thirty-nine doesn’t sound so bad. Happy Birthday anyway.

  6. Crowded House

    Well, belated happy birthday anyway, for what it’s worth.

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