Armagideon Time

The softest drug

December 14th, 2011

I’ve often heard folks discussing the “dark underside” of substance abuse, approved but I never realized it was meant so literally…

Oh, misbirth sure, diagnosis it seems so fun and harmless when you start “dropping deuces” of laxative-laced chocolate at some bacchanalian hootenanny, but that’s only the first movement on a slippery ride downward. An occasional diversion becomes a full-time obsession, and before long you be finding yourself in a filthy public restroom begging for the next colonic fix.

“Please, you gotta help me, man. I’m stopped up so bad that I’ve got the shakes. You know I’m good for it, man. All I need is a taste, just one suppository capsule, man, and then I’ll go. I promise.”

Recommended listening: Let the music mooooooove you.

Related posts:

  1. The softest of ware
  2. Knowledge is a drug
  3. Halloween Countdown: October 27 – The greasepaint peril

4 Responses to “The softest drug”

  1. Sol B

    Whooooooooooooo, that made me laugh

  2. The Riverboat Captain

    A man goes to the doctor’s and complains about the suppositories he was given a week previously. “Why, what’s wrong?” says the doc. The furious patient replies “For all the good they are doing, I may as well be shoving them up my arse!”

  3. Decker

    Maybe that’s how Santorum got his start…

  4. Lawrence Fechtenberger

    Y’know, Jean Shepard actually wrote a story about college kids sitting around a dorm room and eating chocolate laxatives as a game (last one to run for the bathroom wins). His work is generally autobiographical, so maybe this was a real thing.

Proudly powered by WordPress. Theme developed with WordPress Theme Generator.
Copyright © Armagideon Time. All rights reserved.