Armagideon Time

Just what I always wanted

March 11th, 2009

Hey, this everybody! Iron Man is here, this site and he brought a gift for President Reagan!

I wonder what it could be? Stark Industries always makes the most thoughtful presents.

C’mon, Ronnie, use a little elbow grease! Can someone go see if Al Haig will lend us his pocket knife to jimmy the latch open?

Hmm….it’s the thought that counts, I suppose.

(from Avengers#267, May 1986; by Roger Stern, John Buscema, and Tom Palmer)

Have no fear, that was just a alternate reality sequence where that universe’s Kang the Conqueror dressed up as Iron Man in order to wipe out his hated enemies once and for all. The time-travelling warlord did not, however, take into account the “mutually assured destruction” protocols in place at the time, which meant that this Earth and his future was reduced to an atomic cinder as a result of his clever scheme.

His completely foreseeable mistake did not sit well with the peer review board of the Interdimensional Fellowship of Kangs, and the inevitable disciplinary hearing earned him ten demerits and a summary execution.

A little harsh? Perhaps, but even gaudily costumed world-beaters have to maintain some standards. The Cosmic Confederacy of Bitterandrews toyed with creating a similar oversight comittee a few years back, but none of the members had the motivation or patience to move it past the proposal stage.

Recommended listening:  Napalm Babies – Don’t Catch Me in the Blast (from the White On Black  cassette, 1982; collected on the New Wave Complex, Vol. 12 compilation)

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A lovely artifact of 1980s nuclear dread marred by the muddiness one tends to expect with cassette releases (and Flexipop bootleg minimal synth collections).

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One Response to “Just what I always wanted”

  1. Brian Smith

    I instantly remembered this story from that first panel — I don’t know if that says more about me or about the story.

    And because of when I came into comics, this issue was the first time I’d seen Storm as anything other than a mohawk-sporting biker chick, so I was pretty thoroughly freaked out even before Tony Stark came running in screaming that *he* was Iron Man. Thanks for the post!

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