Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘existential dread’

Sic transit gloria Nineties

July 31st, 2018

Looking back, you wonder if any of it was real. Of course it was. You can find ample physical evidence in any thrift store or the few sad remnants you’d elected to hold on to all this time. There’s a part of you that whispers how these were your best years — a halcyon daze […]

I have been spending my Friday afternoons helping to clear out my Nana’s house. There’s very little of my grandparents’ possessions I bothered to lay claim to in the “who wants this” scrum — an antique writing desk, a table my father’s uncle made as a wedding gift for my parents, a pair of porcelain […]

Where the heart was

June 13th, 2018

Yesterday’s post got me to thinking about my grandmother’s duplex, particularly the side where my family resided for not quite half a decade. There are a lot of not great memories associated with it. It’s where our domestic dysfunctions entered the final downward spiral culminating in my mother’s death. It’s also where I struggled through […]

Sometime during the 1996 primary season, I decided to pay a visit to Excalibur Hobbies in Malden Center. The shop had been my go-to place for all things role-playing during high school and my early college years, but fell by the wayside after my undergrad wanderings settled into the Allston-Cambridge-Somerville axis (a.k.a. the Used Vinyl […]

A few days after the first semester of my freshman year ended, I got a call from one of the few people from high school I’d kept up with since graduation. She was back from college and was holding a party at her mom’s house that weekend. “All the old crew is going to be […]

Post mortem

May 9th, 2018

I forgot how awful the waiting can be. In some ways, it was worse than what I experienced after my mother’s death. The magnitude and suddenness of that loss left a gaping psychic wound, but that pain managed to give me something upon which to concentrate. My grandmother’s death was a more protracted affair — […]

My grandmother passed away yesterday morning. It was sudden, but not unexpected. If you’ve read the autobio stuff I’ve written here, you’ll know she had been a huge part of my life from infancy right up through adulthood. I’ll probably have more to say about it in the near future, but I’m too busy trying […]

Music fandom has been a constant in my life since my pre-teen years but my love of individual artists has always been a fickle and fleeting thing in terms of their output. Loyalty to the creator is less important than love for to a specific song, album, or hot streak. The Clash and The Byrds […]

And I never did

March 15th, 2018

The first Toys R Us I ever visited was the one at the North Shore Mall. The mall also housed the only barbershop my grandfather trusted to cut his hair. On the third Saturday of the month, he’d load himself, my grandmother, Lil Bro and me into his oversized tan Chevy and make the long […]

Eulogy for a king

February 26th, 2018

In April 2016, Maura and I gathered the quartet of feral feline siblings who’d taken up residence in our garage and brought them to the vet’s office to be spayed. The two short-haired sisters — a tuxedo cat dubbed Nubby and a gray tabby named Little Baby Setz — turned out to be extremely pregnant, […]

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