Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘fashion’

Of disbelief

April 8th, 2019

If nostalgia isn’t an outright lie, it’s a selective interpretation of the truth. It’s easy to long for the past after the unpleasant bits have faded (or been willfully suppressed) from memory. Remove that tarnish and any period can seem like a Golden Age, which is a nonsense because I actually lived through such a […]

Strut the flap

April 4th, 2019

Come one, come all! Feast your eyes on the Only Bumflap That Matters! As the ad — ganked from a 1980 issue of Smash Hits — states, this was merely one of an entire line of hindquarters drapery available for sale. If you were curious about which other artists were available for posterior display, here’s […]

Drive, mon pied

April 2nd, 2019

It took three deep dives into the 1975 Sears Wish Book before I noticed it… …but when I finally did, it nearly shorted out my nostalgia cortex. I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you that those goofy race car slippers were one of Young Andrew’s most coveted possessions. Forget Tonka trucks […]

Infernal ensemble

March 11th, 2019

I turned in earlier than usual last night in hopes of better acclimating myself to the effects of Daylight Savings Time. That did not happen, but I did get a chance to catch an episode of Night Gallery on MeTV before nodding off. The plot centered around a mental asylum for rich folks (somewhere in […]

Knowin’ what to keep

September 20th, 2018

On a warm summer’s eve On a shuttle bound for the outlet mall I met up with the tailor We were both too tired to sleep So we took turns a-starin’ Out the window at the Tire Center The boredom overtook us, And he began to speak He said, “Son, I’ve made a life Out […]

Groovy times

August 9th, 2018

NEWLY DECLASSIFIED FROM THE SECRET VPL DATABASE: THE POLYESTER FOUR PART PLAN OF 1975: 1. Trap the smell of sweat, body odor, and other environmental scents in the fabric to an eye-watering degree. 2. Cause your clothes dryer to burst into flames. 3. Realize how awful you actually look. 4. Donate the stuff to a […]

The softest of ware

November 28th, 2017

The latter half of the Eighties is a weird dead spot in my cultural awareness. I’m sure the progressive deterioration of my family during that stretch had a lot to do with it, coupled with my general withdrawal into the sounds and fashions of two decades previous. I stopped paying attention to current music after […]

Goes great with anything

September 29th, 2017

TV Version: Perennial wallflower Sarah Jones was having a tough time getting used to life in wild and woolly Akron, but a chance encounter with an old crone has turned her life upside-down! Now, whenever shy Sarah puts on the strange headband the crone gave her, she becomes magically transformed into the vivacious and outgoing […]

All the reminiscing about the “good” old days lately has set my thoughts wandering into some weird and uncomfortable territory. Dredge a stagnant pool and all manner of stink is going to surface. In my case, it’s a lot of painfully embarrassing crap reeking of ancient regret. It’s stuff had been resolved — for better […]

Those Demim Ones were gone now, relegated to the dim limbo of consignment shops and Planet Aid drop-offs; but their dead bodies had told their fashion secrets in dreams to the first men, who created a style which had never died. It had always existed and always would exist, hidden in distant closets and dark […]

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