Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘fashion’

Knowin’ what to keep

September 20th, 2018

On a warm summer’s eve On a shuttle bound for the outlet mall I met up with the tailor We were both too tired to sleep So we took turns a-starin’ Out the window at the Tire Center The boredom overtook us, And he began to speak He said, “Son, I’ve made a life Out […]

Groovy times

August 9th, 2018

NEWLY DECLASSIFIED FROM THE SECRET VPL DATABASE: THE POLYESTER FOUR PART PLAN OF 1975: 1. Trap the smell of sweat, body odor, and other environmental scents in the fabric to an eye-watering degree. 2. Cause your clothes dryer to burst into flames. 3. Realize how awful you actually look. 4. Donate the stuff to a […]

The softest of ware

November 28th, 2017

The latter half of the Eighties is a weird dead spot in my cultural awareness. I’m sure the progressive deterioration of my family during that stretch had a lot to do with it, coupled with my general withdrawal into the sounds and fashions of two decades previous. I stopped paying attention to current music after […]

Goes great with anything

September 29th, 2017

TV Version: Perennial wallflower Sarah Jones was having a tough time getting used to life in wild and woolly Akron, but a chance encounter with an old crone has turned her life upside-down! Now, whenever shy Sarah puts on the strange headband the crone gave her, she becomes magically transformed into the vivacious and outgoing […]

All the reminiscing about the “good” old days lately has set my thoughts wandering into some weird and uncomfortable territory. Dredge a stagnant pool and all manner of stink is going to surface. In my case, it’s a lot of painfully embarrassing crap reeking of ancient regret. It’s stuff had been resolved — for better […]

Those Demim Ones were gone now, relegated to the dim limbo of consignment shops and Planet Aid drop-offs; but their dead bodies had told their fashion secrets in dreams to the first men, who created a style which had never died. It had always existed and always would exist, hidden in distant closets and dark […]

(from “The Corpse Wore Shoes” by Carl Wessler and E.R. Cruz in The Witching Hour #59, October 1975) “Check it out, you happening cats! The Vault Keeper got hung up by a real bad trip, so he asked me — the Macabre Youth Minister — to lay this far out prairie gothic tale on you […]

The unraveling

May 10th, 2016

“I wanted to know how proud of you I am, so I bought you something.” Bobby felt his sphincter tighten with dread, yet still accepted the brightly-colored gift box from his mother. “Go on, open it!” He pulled the lid from the box and rolled back the tissue paper. It was even worse than he […]

The most horrible bling

April 13th, 2016

I have learned though painstaking research (and painful experience) that there is no absolute nadir when it comes to the 1990s comics scene. Whenever you think you’ve reached the bottom of that tomb of four-color horrors, the ground beneath you gives way and plunges you into an even more fetid sub-basement. Case in point: I […]

A Most Modest Flower: Day 26

February 26th, 2016

(from “Flight” by Tom Peyer, Jeffrey Moy and W. C. Carani in Legionnaires #23, March 1995) “Can we just go back to the lime green miniskirt?” Sequences like the above were the reason I adored this era of the Legion. There were plenty of quips about the “Archie-fication” of the team, but I appreciated that […]

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