Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘fun with vintage ads’

Everything old is older again

January 11th, 2018

While last Tuesday’s post gave me no small satisfaction, I felt convinced the formula could be improved by selecting a temporal window with a higher payload of reminders of my core demographic’s fleeting mortality. With that in mind, let’s take an existentially fraught trip through SPIN’s January 1998 issue — released twenty years ago this […]

X lost the plot

January 9th, 2018

Fun fades fast in the fallen world, but sins are eternal. That’s why random happenstance put me on this planet — to delve into the putrid muck of ages past in search of reeking reminders of that which others so fervently wish to forget. I will not cease from Mental Fight, Nor shall my mouse […]

“Even a hipster who is pure in heart and sips craft brews at night may become a wild-eyed southern boy when the dirtbag moon is bright.” And thus, on October 31, 1986, did the Mercury Theater’s broadcast of The War of the Worlds get bumped down to the second most horrifying thing ever to hit […]

Why should the flood-prone folks in Cajun country have all the fun? Let the unwashed masses molder beneath the earth with the worms and dirt and corpse-eating mole people. You are the assistant regional manager for widget sales in the Tri-State area. You are distinguished, and you should let it be known both here and […]

On the rocks

December 8th, 2016

I’d reckon the folks ad the ad agency didn’t anticipate what I’d do to their baby a half century in the future — but they should have.

“Yo, see where were you on Halloween? You missed a sick party at Ricky’s place!” “Didn’t I tell you? Oh, man. I won a Miller Lite contest where I got to party with Clarence Clemons at Universal Studios!” “Wait. Didn’t he die in 2011?” Frost forms on the windowpane. The family beagle begins to whine […]

The fail of the tape

May 26th, 2016

REEL TOO REAL: He’s a scrappy public defender who grew up in the Lower East Side. She’s a former fashion model raised in the high society Hamptons. He goes into hysterics over Dr. Demento. She feels flushed whenever she hears Casey Kasem’s voice. Frank and Gloria both went into to Crazy Harry’s Discount Electronics looking […]

Well, I never

May 18th, 2016

We live in an era where geeky shit is both mainstream and trendy, viagra approved and mash-up nonsense is thick on the ground. So much so, discount that it can be difficult to recall a time when that wasn’t the norm — especially if you were born after Reagan’s reign or could never be bothered […]

A long day’s journey

December 29th, 2015

“Hey, store Honey? Would tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?” “Why, store four, you silly billy.” Both fists still clenched behind his back, Mr. Graham Brown fought back the tears.

It was a Golden Age, cheap my young friend. Oh, ampoule it was crude and lacking by the contemporary standards, store but it was a glorious revolution for those of us who remember the Days Before. No longer were we at the whims of airwaves or revival house programmers. Each of us — providing we […]

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