Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘idiocy’

No good for you

December 4th, 2018

Ah, yes. Those magical afternoons my high school buddy Damian and I would spend browsing the cramped confines of Cross Street Video, where the decision whether to rent Robot Jox or Radioactive Dreams hung upon which cast had more Oscar-winners or nominees. (And despite the ads visuals and breathy copy, Savage Dawn wasn’t a one […]

The softer side

November 29th, 2018

I have a lot of feelings about the protracted demise of Sears. It’s sad to watch an icon implode, especially one that occupied such a prominent place in both cultural sphere and my formative years. There’s been a odd symmetry to witnessing my grandmother’s death and the shuttering of the former retail titan in space […]

Because I am old and jaded and the old bag of tricks doesn’t cut it for me anymore, I have to find my horrific thrills from fresher venues — like running a search for “Halloween” on the Bradford Exchange’s online portal. Let’s face it, no existential terror Lovecraft ever dreamed up could possibly compete with […]

“What could be that scary?” you ask as you hazard a stamp and a buck forty-nine on the tantalizing offering. Four to six weeks later it arrives. The box is small, but surprisingly heavy. You grab a knife from the counter and slice open the packing tape, carefully pulling open the flaps and removing the […]

Spiderman, Spiderman. Rents out rooms when he can. Drains his tenants by surprise. But an angry spouse makes sure he fries. Too bad, it seemed like a solid plan. (“Spiderman and His Web of Doom” from The Thing #7, March 1953; illustrated by Bob Forgione) Recommended listening: One slice of low-budget sleaze deserves another.

As far as teleporter accidents went, it could’ve been worse. That didn’t stop Bigelow from cursing his carelessness. Why did he accept the crate of vegetables from his co-worker’s garden? Why didn’t put them on a table instead of place where he could accidentally bump the box with his foot and send a stray onion […]

I’m sure you think you’re hip for getting into the potter’s field, but it’s just as commercial as some suburban burial ground. This place is the real cutting edge, man. It’s combines hand-quarried Romanian marble with some of the more radical elements of the Dusseldorf underground tomb scene. I wouldn’t expect you to be familiar […]

Night Gallery was proof that you can’t go home again, with a tanned and weary Rod Serling attempting to reprise The Twilight Zone minus the level of craft or creative control. The spooky-themed anthology did have its occasional moments, but it’s telling that the best of them — like “The Caterpillar” and its ear-to-ear slice […]

A plague worse than death

September 25th, 2018

“I looked up and saw a horse whose color was pastel green. Its rider was named Jane, and her format was VHS. They were given authority over ranch home suburbia, to conquer with headband and lycra and legwarmers and extreme hold mousse.”

A photo-essay for Friday

September 14th, 2018
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