Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘idiocy’

Which came worst

February 12th, 2020

See, this is what happens when a eager young letterhack gets Dragon Magazine‘s and Penthouse‘s “Forum” features mixed up. I bet he thought it could never happen to him. (from Dragon #121, May 1987)

Dum duh dum dum

January 15th, 2020

It doesn’t matter who the participating parties are, my eyes can’t help but be drawn to old ads for cross-promotional contests. My brain feverishly attempts to work out the process which united these strange bedfellows, speculates about the winners, and wonders about the current status of their major awards. I assume most folks opted for […]

About two months back, a drunken idiot plowed his pick-up truck into a group of motorcyclists in New Hampshire, killing seven of them. It soon came out that the driver of the truck shouldn’t have been behind the wheel — neither drunk nor sober — because he’d been picked up on Connecticut on a DUI […]

Eff your vescence

May 30th, 2019

It’s always bizarre to me when financial analysts act gobsmacked when a faddish commodity experiences a sharp correction. Regardless of one’s opinion about flavored seltzer water, it was pretty clear that its white hot trendiness would eventually experience some form of reversion to the mean. For every one of these darlings which does manage to […]

The old man’s move into rehab was delayed by a lack of available beds and a flu epidemic which ruled out a facility in nearby Wilmington in favor on one up in North Andover. We kept in touch through texts and phone calls, but I didn’t bother visiting him in person. When this shit started […]

Strut the flap

April 4th, 2019

Come one, come all! Feast your eyes on the Only Bumflap That Matters! As the ad — ganked from a 1980 issue of Smash Hits — states, this was merely one of an entire line of hindquarters drapery available for sale. If you were curious about which other artists were available for posterior display, here’s […]

Highest ed

March 29th, 2019

The campus playset was part of a whole line of college-themed accessories for Barbie, and given ample page space in the 1964 Sears Wish Book. I wish Mattel had pursued the concept through the entirely of Barbie’s college experience — Summer of Love Barbie, Berkeley Speed Freak Ken, Bad Acid Trip Barbie with Plush Sanatorium […]

Wash down

February 20th, 2019

From the deepest, blandest corner of suburbia, a cry of despair issues forth… The mighty forces of postwar consumerism immediately spring into action, bringing rigid gender roles… …overhyped technological improvements… …and more avocado tones than a single person could process in a dozen lifetimes! Together, they have the power to reshape domestic reality. Forget last […]

No good for you

December 4th, 2018

Ah, yes. Those magical afternoons my high school buddy Damian and I would spend browsing the cramped confines of Cross Street Video, where the decision whether to rent Robot Jox or Radioactive Dreams hung upon which cast had more Oscar-winners or nominees. (And despite the ads visuals and breathy copy, Savage Dawn wasn’t a one […]

The softer side

November 29th, 2018

I have a lot of feelings about the protracted demise of Sears. It’s sad to watch an icon implode, especially one that occupied such a prominent place in both cultural sphere and my formative years. There’s been a odd symmetry to witnessing my grandmother’s death and the shuttering of the former retail titan in space […]

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