Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘now my dad is also dead’

When came to my relationship with my father, the key word was “despite.” Despite Gus being a poor excuse for parent, I still managed to turn out okay. Despite his rampant hypocrisy in practice, he managed to instill within me a strong moral code. Despite being pretty sexist in a lot of respects, he somehow […]

I had thought my father’s funeral would be mirror the Comedian’s service in Watchmen — shitty weather, a handful of mourners lost in their individual memories of the man, and a brief set of platitudes uttered over the departed’s remains. When it was over, we’d briefly shake hands or hug before retreating to our personal […]

I was driving through the tunnel and had my phone muted, so I missed Lil Bro’s text. I didn’t even realize he’d sent it until I started settling into my cubicle and my phone buzzed. “Did you get my text? The visiting nurse found Dad dead this morning.” I didn’t feel sad or guilty or […]

Maura and I picked up the old man at the rehab, located in the ass end of North Andover. It was first time I’d seen him in a month and he looked…not great, but considerably better than the previous time I saw him. He was still depressingly thin and shrunken, but had put on a […]

The old man’s move into rehab was delayed by a lack of available beds and a flu epidemic which ruled out a facility in nearby Wilmington in favor on one up in North Andover. We kept in touch through texts and phone calls, but I didn’t bother visiting him in person. When this shit started […]

The morning after I visited the old man in the hospital, we got a six AM call on our landline. Maura picked up the cordless receiver. “Caller ID says it’s from your father,” she said as she handed it off to me. I was expecting the worst. What I got was a repeat of a […]

It had been a typical Monday thus far. I’d finished sorting out the previous weekend’s data dump and took care of any outstanding request tickets. All that remained was to ride out the rest of my shift before making the long drive back to Woburn. Then my cell started buzzing, and its caller ID said […]

It’s a long-standing tradition in my family to offer help with the understanding that you will never be required to follow through with it. The gesture is symbolic, a substitute for more direct expressions of affection. Other families say “I love you.” Mine says “Let me know if you need help with that thing.” I […]

Sometime around the end of November, I got a text from my brother asking if I’d spoken with our dad recently. He was worried because he could barely understand a thing the old man said during their latest phone conversation, and thought something bigger might be going on. I didn’t think too much of it. […]

Been that kind of year

March 13th, 2019

The man responsible for shaping me into the person I am, for good and ill, was found dead in his apartment yesterday. I hadn’t spoken with him in about a month. Despite a lot of talk about being a better person, he’d slipped into his manipulative ways. I called him out on it, after which […]

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