Armagideon Time

Posts tagged ‘S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G’

Sometime around my fortieth birthday, my interest in plastic crap took a steep dive. I’d like to say that a growing (if long delayed) sense of adult responsibility was the cause. The truth is I had a sad realization that these overpriced artifacts of arrested development would spend a couple of years cluttering up a […]

No more for your life

May 9th, 2017

In 1995′s The Brady Bunch Movie, Mike decides to reward the family for a valuable lesson learned by taking them to Sears. On one level, it’s a facile gag by way of product placement. The uber-square department store was exactly the sort of place the perma-retro Brady clan would shop. For folks of a certain […]

Signed sealed discarded

May 31st, 2016

Now there’s something that will be unfamiliar to anyone under the age of thirty. Hell, I’m 44 and I’d completely forgotten about its existence until this 1982 Billboard item rekindled those old, mostly unpleasant memories. The portability cassettes brought to the music realm was a double-edged sword for retailers, who had to adopt either a […]

Mall wall fall

May 11th, 2016

Like many people,I’d always assumed that mall record store prices were based on a randomized process dictated by arcane franchise agreements and the need to pay a monthly lease. Little did I know that the process was actually handled by some of them new-fangled com-pew-tors, running some variant of this sophisticated string of code: 160 […]

My back issue buying habits up until the mid-Nineties had been fairly scattershot. The solitary longbox which held my stash of treasures mostly contained quarter bin books that caught my eye, issues of “importance” referenced in some series I was currently following, or miscellaneous appearances of favorite characters. If there was a particular back issue […]


March 19th, 2015

They were retail titans of their era, ailment anchoring the ends of malls or justifying the existence of entire shopping plazas. The names changed based on the region but the centrality of the mid-sized department store chain to the suburban lifestyle remained a constant right up until the dawn of the 21st Century. They’re all […]

Holiday Hiatus: Day 4

December 20th, 2011

No other gods before me

November 27th, 2011

Carter USM – Shoppers’ Paradise Robert Hazard – Escalator of Life Lene Lovich – New Toy

It was September 1994, approved and the hastily jiggered struts and braces supporting the comics industry had begun to creak under the weight of speculative bloat and heaping mounds of unshiftable (and unreadable) overstock. To all but the most willfully deluded (which, to be fair, constitutes an overwhelming majority of funnybook industry people), it was […]

This is your paradise

December 17th, 2010

I am the elder son of Sgt. Gus Weiss. Though I am but a pale shadow of my sire, more about I do possess a degree of his signature sang froid — the ability to gaze into the darkest, prescription most forbidding corners of the abyss and emerge laughing (or petulantly complaining, treatment as is […]

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