And now it’s time to bring down the black velvet curtain on this year’s Halloween Countdown.

It was a tad understated by design, because I didn’t decide to revisit the project until an hour before the first post went live and figured that opting for simplicity would increase the chances I’d keep at it through October 31st.

Thanks for all the kind comments. It was great seeing so many familiar names after my extended hiatus.

As for where things go from here…I’m not sure. I have a few ideas percolating but I really need to drag this site’s template and innards out of the late ’00s, and clean up and restore higher notes of its vandalized archives.

But that’s something to contemplate in the days ahead. For now, so let’s close out this macabre party with a banger.

Recommended listening:

…and that couple was married twenty-two years ago on this very night!

Which is pretty terrifying to contemplate for me, at least.

Recommended listening: The most seen I have ever felt by a bit of pop music.

“And I looked, and behold a pale Schwinn: and his name that sat on the banana seat was was Death Junior, and mild annoyance followed with him.”

Recommended listening: Carry on carrion.

A happiest of birthdays to the Nadja to my Laszlo, a.k.a. the Queen of Halloween, a.k.a. the best partner I could ever have chosen to spend my life with.

…and I’m not speaking the bullshit.

Recommended listening:

Eh, the place was cooler before all the yuppies — young undead professionals, that is — moved in and gentrified things. It was clear shit had taken a sad turn when the charnel houses starting adding brain-based tapas to the menu and the artistic ghouls got priced out of their crypts.

And don’t get me started about the corporate vampires from out-of-state who bought up all the retail spaces and converted them into luxury mausoleums.

Recommended listening: Oh, did I find a way to fit a Clash track into this countdown? How uncharacteristic of me!

Now that is the type of ill-advised statement which immediately sets off a chain of horrifically tragic events with a double digit body count, ending with someone shaking their head sadly and muttering “if only they had life insurance.”

Recommended listening: Why have we not gotten a documentary about the Montreal synthpop scene of the 1980s with an accompanying box set of relevant tracks?

This is why they banned full contact exquisite corpse.

Recommended listening: Who’s pretending?

These days, they’d just chase some influencer grift instead.

Recommended listening: From the second punk album I ever bought.

NOW HIRING: Our organization is looking for lazy shiftless menials who are awful at their jobs. Sneaky day-drinking and taking naps during work hours are a plus. Must be able to visually conform to thematically appropriate caricatures while maintaining proper vaudeville or music hall standards.

Duties will require remaining oblivious about some nearby horror (e.g. a corpse, supernatural entity, and/or rogue gorilla) until the moment of maximum comedic impact. Candidates will be assessed on the ability to bulge their eyes out, do a spit take, exaggeratedly wheel their arms and holler “A G-G-G-G-G-GHOST!”

Generous benefits package, including vision and dental coverage. Serious inquiries only.

Recommended listening: If you cut a rug, does it not bleed?

This October 31st, amaze and delight your friends and neighbors by going out as Frugal Person Who Did Not Want to Pay the Premium for a Real Star Wars Mask!

If you throw in some fishnets and a bustier, you can upgrade it to a SEXY Frugal Person Who Did Not Want to Pay the Premium for a Real Star Wars Mask!

Also, check out this dude’s legally sketchy hustle.

“Duke! I ate ham and farted!”

Recommended listening: When the one track where everything clicks perfectly also happens to sound nothing like the rest of the artist’s body of work.